7 Months Already

I just can't believe our little girl is already 7 months old. It seems like just yesterday that we were still in the hospital trying to change her diaper, terrified we would damage her cord. Things sure have changed since then. I am still not 100% confident in my role as a Mommy, but I am giving it my all. There are so many things that I am so excited to do with her and teach her. I just cannot wait to start a family tradition of going to Huber's Orchard to pick out our Halloween pumpkins, taking her to the Louisville Science Museum to make those giant bubbles and huge domino exhibits that I remember from my own childhood, spending a sunny Saturday at the zoo and promising her a trip to the giftshop for a treat if she is good, building sandcastles on the beach at Destin. But as much as I am looking forward to all those things, I am really trying to remind myself to enjoy this stage too. The nights that she wakes every hour for her pacifier are some of the most trying times I have ever been through, but all those little smiles, gurgles and laughs make it all worth it. Sometimes I worry I am not being the best mother I can be - in all honesty I have never been accused of being a patient person. Nor have I ever been accused of being overly friendly or affectionate. But I am really trying to work on that. I don't ever want her to have any unpleasant childhood memories to look back on. I know that no one is perfect, but doesn't my little girl deserve perfect? Either way, I know she deserves the best I can provide and sometimes I just don't feel like I am up to par. However, now that I really think about it, maybe I don't want her to grow up thinking she has a perfect mother. Instead, I want her to grow up knowing that even when Mommy makes mistakes, she is always trying her hardest. Even when Mommy doesn't remember to count to 10 before speaking her mind, she is really trying to do right by her. Someday I will print all of this out and give it to her to read so she will never have any doubt how much I love her. Hopefully, when she reads it, she will know without a doubt in her mind that no matter what else I may do in my lifetime, she is what I will always be the most proud of. So even though it will be years before she can read and understand this - To my Chunky Monkey - I love you more than anything in this world.